Being a mom in today’s society down right sucks. Yes, mommy police, I said it. Give me a chance to explain. It doesn’t just suck sharing your breast with a hungry child or pushing a watermelon out of your goodies (that’s another post for another day)
♦The part that sucks the most?….the judgement.♦
The constant appraisal of your every move and decision by other mamas. You know the [Super] MOMS…the ones who criticize if you do anything slightly different than they did for their littles. There’s judgement if you bottle feed instead of *Breast (is best)-Feed*. Then Judgement if you breast feed in public or until baby is passed a year old. Judgement if you co-sleep and judgement if you follow the CIO [Waaah it out] method. Judgement if you don’t follow a schedule and the scrutiny you receive for following one. It’s a darned if I do and darned if I don’t in the mama world. It didn’t take me long to realize this when I first became a mama bear.
See, being in the wife world is easy. Yeah, sure you get judged for minuet things like wedding colors (I’m questioning mine as of late) or lack of cooking skills but it doesn’t prep you for the microscope you are placed under while being a mother. I question why, as women, we feel the need to judge other moms. I wonder if it’s because we, at times, feel like we don’t measure up. Maybe it’s just easy to judge other mamas. Maybe just maybe judgement makes us feel validated in some narcissistic way.
Whatever your reasoning, whether it be
ego or insecurity, judgement is never the answer. When did it become ok to put down other moms? Even if you’ve never verbally judged a mom and her methods, I can guarantee that you’ve had those stinky thoughts of criticism….I have!
«See gals, I’m guilty.»
I’m the mom in the grocery line staring at the lady with the screaming child. She’s trying to check out while rummaging through her purse, cub is throwing a fit in the cart and mama bear is clearly flustered. Instead of offering to help her out or entertaining LO, I’m more engaged in shouting judgements in my head. Flashes of “Ew I would hate to be her right now.” Or “What a bratty child.”
«Ladies, I’m guilty.»
I’m the mom worried about baby carrying, honest diapers and baby wise schedules. And while those things are not bad in and of themselves, it’s the nose up in the air mommy attitude that has become the problem. It’s the “I know best” attitude that has created the problem. I’ve been that mom and can I say from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.
⋅Can I apologize for any and every mom that has ever made you feel incompetent, unqualified or left out?
See, the truth is, we are all just trying to figure out this thing called motherhood. It really didn’t come with a manual and it doesn’t matter how many books you read, nothing preps you for this crazy hood.
It’s messy (stupid throw up on my favorite black blouse) and stinky (I mean how many diapers can a baby seriously go through?) and don’t mention the sleepless nights (I’ve managed to age in the last few months).
Motherhood is rough and add in all of the criticism and judgement and its no wonder why 80% of women experience postpartum depression. Let’s be women who empower one another. If you see a mama around that needs a break or a breather, lend a hand; even if she’s a strange. Better yet, especially if she’s a stranger. We need more women who will step up for other mamas and other cubs. If we put as much effort into helping as we do into judging, our children would be thriving and our mothers would feel free from the unrealistic expectations.
It’s true what they say, it takes a village to raise a kid.
So, can I speak to that fragile mommy heart for a moment? I don’t care if you’ve been attacked for every single one of your mama methods, you are enough. You are treasured by a God who saw it fit for YOU, yes you, to be that little cubs mama. Yes, you fail. Yes, you aren’t perfect. But at the end of the day, you can hold your head high because you are imperfectly perfect for your littles.
Keep on, keeping on, Mama Bear.